by Trey Coleman
About two weeks ago, I was having an intense conversation with a good friend of mine regarding black men dating white women. In the conversation, my friend made a profound statement that left me speechless. She stated, “All we hear is that black women are too proud and have too much attitude, but we always stick by our black men. Black Women are on the front line for black men. We are right out there screaming injustice, even if the black man is guilty. Black men complain that black women don’t support them but name a time when black men stood up for black women on the front line, marching for the injustice that is being done to black women?”
Sadly, I could not name a time, so I just stood there dumb founded. The last part of her statement was apropos and it got me to thinking about how far apart we are as a people. It seems like the more black people progressed in this country, the more disjointed the black man and black woman became. We supported each other through slavery and civil rights, but when we were allowed to integrate with the white man, it seems we started running from each other.
We are a community and we need to stop playing t*t for tat. I don’t see other races breaking each other down the way black people do. That starts with the black man and the black woman. There is so much pain and bitterness inside the black man (due to absentee fathers, lack of equal opportunity, no respect at work or in the home), however we will not seek help. Some of us resort to violence, which is detrimental to us. We blame our black women for being too loquacious and having an attitude. So, do we want our women to conceal their emotions and be seen and not heard? In my experience, as blacks, when we get into a position of power and begin to demonstrate a little passion and ambition, we’re labelled as an “angry black man” or an “angry black woman.” As a result, we conceal our passion and speak in a softer tone that’s acceptable. This is a constant struggle within our community, but we must remember we are a product of the same culture/society, so it should be expected that we handle circumstances with the same passion and emotion.
I do agree that some black women can be over the top at times and should stop fearing being the submissive gender. You can be submissive and not be a doormat.
So, when do we start the healing process? Or do we continue this mass exodus to different races? Julie Baumgarder, of First Things Richmond, wrote an article entitled Black Marriage Day-Why Do We Need It?, stated that the latest marriage research shows that marriage in the African-American community is on the decline. Today, African-Americans have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. According to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America have never been married compared to 27 percent and 22 percent respectively for whites. In 30 years, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent, but for African-Americans, it fell by 34 percent. We can’t continue to blame society ills for our problems.
We know how we got here, now what are we going to do to correct it?
1. Black women: Do you think you should tone it down or should black men accept you as you are?
2. Black men: Do we support black women like they support us?
3. Black women: Do you think black men fully support you?
4. Black men: Do you find it easier to deal with women of other races? If so why?
5. Were your parents a good example of marriage and/or relationships for you?
My name is Trey Coleman. I’m blogging to give some insight on politics, music and entertainment. I’m a Republican and I believe in capitalism. You can contact me on my website Treystruth.com or follow me on twitter at Treys Truth.