August is Child Support Awareness Month; Here’s What you May not Know
So many people have so many strong emotions when it comes to the topic of child support. There are those who have to pay it and resent that they have to spend years paying money and having no control over how it will be spent or even wasted.
There are also those who are supposed to be receiving child support and are frustrated because they are not getting the money they need to help them take care of the expenses that come with raising a child.
While it is not hard to understand why so many people have strong emotions and opinions about child support, it is important to remember that the system was created to cover some or all of a child’s basic needs, such as food, clothing, housing, education and childcare.
According to ebony.com there are 10 things you may not have known about Child Support:
1. Although men are most frequently the providers of child support, 15 percent of all people who pay child support are women.
2. The average child support payment made in the U.S. is $430 a month.
3. About 30 percent of all custodial parents never receive one cent of the child support legally due them–even if they have a court order for child support.
4. There are no national guidelines for determining an adequate amount of child support. Each state uses its own calculations to set child support.
5. Child support money is completely tax-free income for the recipient, but is NOT tax-deductible for the person paying child support.
6. Child support and visitation rights are two distinct and different legal matters. (You can’t legally stop paying child support just because an ex makes it hard for you or even prevents you from seeing your child).
7. Child support is not dischargeable by bankruptcy. (Even if you are dead broke, deep in debt or out of work, a bankruptcy judge cannot wipe out due or overdue child support payments).
8. Child support orders can always be modified by a court order. (If there has been a significant “change of circumstances,” either parent can go back to court and request that child support be increased, decreased, or even eliminated).
9. A parent who is unemployed or has a reduction in income is still required to pay all court-ordered child support, unless that parent has received a court-approved, written child support modification from a judge.
10. Failure to pay child support can lead to serious consequences, including wage garnishment, asset seizure, credit bureau reporting, driver’s license suspension, passport denial, withholding of unemployment benefits, and even arrest or jail time.
34 Responses to August is Child Support Awareness Month; Here’s What you May not Know
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I know a brother, who spent (2) 6 months sentences in jail for non support. The reason he could not work because he was injured in an auto accident on his job. He was off 6 months and had to resign from his job, due to his injury. His ex-wife divorced him!!! He even gave this heffa the house, but she still put him in jail over child support.
He had to wait 8 years for Disability Insurance to pay him, but when he went before a judge, the judge sentenced him to 6 months for child support neglect. He told the judge he could not work because of his injury, and if he did work, he would not receive his benefits. The judge didn’t care.
After he served his 6 months, he went before the judge again! He explained to the judge once again, that he was waiting for his Disability Insurance, the judge threw him in jail one more time with another 6 months sentence. After he served his second term, the judge put him on probation for 5 d**n years!!!! Some felony criminals don’t even get 5 years of probation once they are out! THIS JUDGE WAS A RACIST b*****d. Child support is the new way to incarcerate Black men.
The brother is now receiving his benefits and they are taking his child support out of his Disabilty Insurance check! He is living off of $1400 a month. There are times this brother is left with only $25 to last him until next pay period, after he pays rent, car note, insurance, gas, food and other bills. This brother has NEVER been in trouble and he’s a good brother, but look how his ex-wife treated him and the d**n judge. The court system caters to the fe-males; not the men.
THE COURT SYSTEM DOESN’T GIVE A d**n ABOUT BLACK MEN…PERIOD!!!
IT’S PAY UP OR GET LOCKED UP NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.
The system does not cater to females only. Here, it’ s as though the men are incentivized by not supporting their children. My son is 2 1/2. I have never received a penny of help since this child was born. I filed for Child Support 5 days after my son was born. His father has skipped every court date, ignored his subpoena, and they just kept pushing our court date up since he wouldnt show up. And do you know what the judge told me? Be patient. (Be patient!?! Be patient!?! My son is not patiently waiting to grow, or patiently waiting to eat! I need help DAILY!)
I wasnt until this year–2 years later–that I finally received an order. It’s been about 7 months, and still NOT A DIME. He suffers no repercussions. I was told to ask the court to for a contempt order. Why do we have to go through all these motions and JUST TO MAKE a man take care of his child! To this day, he’s still running free, having fun, living life. And I’m here supporting a child by myself, thanks to the lack of empathy by the system…
As a mother who has experienced a similar situation. The father of my now grown child ducked and dodged on his child support for years. He is currently over $30,000 behind in child support. He is 53 years old and is making current payments (my child is in school), as well as 25% towards arrears.
Unpaid child support can affect your life in many ways and I can tell you that it has affected his. So, while he was able to run for a few years and leave me with the financial burden of providing for my child alone, in the end he was the loser because it caught up with him and he will be paying me and my son for a very long time, if not for the rest of his life. So, I know how you feel because Lord knows, me and my child went through some rough times. But, just know that his fun times will eventually come to a screeching halt and that he will be held accountable for abandoning his child.
The child support system really doesn’t discriminate. As a court officer I’ve been directed to send a parent to jail if they have not paid support for a significant time period. The parent can be a Mother or a Father. It doesn’t matter.
Your friend shoud have petitioned the courts for a reduction as he had significant circumstances that would have permitted him more likely than not to do so. He could have retained a lawyer to do this for free if necessary.
In addition, I really get tired of hearing the Mother or the Father is keeping me from the child. Non-custodial parents have to petitioned the courts for visitation, shared or joint custody. When the custodial parents do not follow the order you have to prosecute. I know too many men (black and white) that have successfully obtained visitation, joint and shared custody.
There are always exceptions to the rule but as a parent you have to pursue support and custody with a passion. The system is not automatic for parents who do not rec’d state monies such as TANF.
@proactive:
He had a court appointed lawyer, who didn’t give a d**n! All of these court appointed ‘liars’, I mean attorneys, work for the system, and they are not going to protect an innocent Black man FOR FREE!
This racist system is designed to incarcerate Black men, women and children. Nothing has changed since our forced enslavement. WE HAVE NO RIGHTS UNLESS YOU HAVE MONEY. We still have to PAY FOR OUR FREEDOM!
WAKE UP!
What does he need a car for, sounds like if he were to rid himself of that unnecessary expense, he could free up some money….Sorry, if this brother can drive around in a car, his a*s can go to a job, it is he, who is living off 1400 a month, by choice, so his a*s won’t have to work. You have a messed understanding about what a good man is, in my opinion, because he d**n sure is not one. h**l I pay 1300 a month for two children, another 600 a month for half their car notes and insurance, half of my son’s rent at college, and half of his tuition, which is 20,000 semester, for 15 hours, and no he did not get a loan…..Tell you good man to get a d**n job and get in the d**n game…..
Why don’t you get rid of those cars and you won’t have to pay a car note! You negroid fe-males would talk about a brother, who has no car, now you say, he does not need a car? YOU NEGROIDS ARE HARD TO PLEASE!
If you read the comment, the brother has a BACK INJURY and CANNOT work! Do you OVERstand english or what? THE BROTHER IS TOTALLY DISABLED, YOU DUMB JACKASS!
TELL YOUR CHILDREN TO GO GET SOME JOBS AND STOP TAKING CARE OF GROWN a*s CHILDREN!!! My son works, he will be graduating from college next May, he has his OWN car and pays is OWN insurance, YOUR children can do the same thang!
NOW WHAT?
For real, sounds like you have it made you make six figures private school, cars etc these people airing grievances are living paycheck to paycheck. I guess it would be to much for your grown a*s man child to be a success at a 20,000 yr school an a second hand car you reek of elitism
Mr. Harvey that elites sounds as though he employs our Brothers and Sisters so they maybe able to send their children to a 20.000.00 dollar tuition school,and you and I both know that that educated child of the elites will without a doubt reach back and help the least fortunate Brother or Sister.
So Mr. Harvey —- thanks for pointing out the loving,and caring elites.
Boycott Christmas 2012
The only thing I know Mr Battle is that one day I will go to sleep and won’t wake up everything else is negotiable. And pray tell when is all the largess from these children of privilege suppose to kick in what timeline in their life will they step up and heed the call for public service and philanthropic causes I wait with baited breath, I won’t hold mine.
Praetorian is a man by his very handle he chooses to use thinks he is better dropping financials I pay this for that etc. he’s not better he just arrogant. But he did let us in on the fact his woman left him guess she wasn’t impressed any longer
THE DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE ACT IS A JOKE AS IS THE ARDC AND THE JUDICIAL INQUIRY BOARD AS WELL THE STATE OF IL. ALL OF THESE NO GOOD BASTARDS TREAT MEN HONEST MEN LIKE DOGS THAT’S JUST ANOTHER WAY FOR WHITE MEN TO FEEL SUPERIOR AND TO PUT BLACK MEN DOWN NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE BLACK FATHERS ARE JUST SPERM DONORS TO THE SYSTEM BLACK MEN ARE STRIPPED OF BEING FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN EVEN THOUGH THEY PAY THE FREIGHT WHILE THE b*****s LIE TO THE COURT AND NEVER HAVE TO PROVE THEIR LIES. BUT THE b*****s WHO REAP THE BENEFITS THAT THEY DONN’T DESERVE BELIEVE ME THEY WILL MEET WITH THE WRATH OF GOD BEFORE THEY LEAVE THIS EARTH THEY WILL NEVER DO ANY GOOD THEY ALONG WITH THE NO GOOD JUDGES,LAWYERS AND ALL OF THE CROOKED AGENCIES WHO MAKE SURE BLACK MEN NEVER GET THE BENEFIT OF ANY LAW AS WRITTEN THEY ARE NEVER ENFORCED FOR BLACK MEN THEY TAKE WAY THE FATHER HOOD FROM BACK MEN AND REFUSE TO ALLOW THEM TO PARENT THEIR OWN CHILDREN. i PRAY EVERY DAY THAT THIS SYSTEM IN ILLINOIS CRASH AND BURN EVERY LAWYER,,JUDGE COURT IN THIS STATE.THE TIME IS LONG PAST THAT OME JUDGES LAWYERS GO TO JAIL FOR BREAKING THE DOMESTIC FAMILY LAWS THIS IS SHAMEFUL HOW EACH JUDGE DESIGNS WHAT PENALTIES THEY WANT TO IMPOSE ON THE MAN DEPENDING ON THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN AND IF THE JUDGE IS A RACIST OR NOT MOST ARE BUT DON’T LET IT AFFECT THEIR ABILITY TO FOLLOW THE LAW SOME ARE RACIS TO THEIR VERY CORE LIKE THE ONES IN THE ROLLING MEADOWS COURT IN Il.
It’s interesting how so many men have no problem complaining about what the *system* is doing to them and their brethren when they fail to s uphold their child support obligations. I pay close attention to complaint such as these because as a child support advocate, consultant and coach (for the past 16 years)that teaches parents how to collect every last dime from these jokers, I notice that they don’t mention the children too much. It’s all me me me – what the *system* is doing to me – what the ex did to me.
People… puhlease remember that there are kids involved that need food, clothes, a place to live, school supplies and much much more. Their needs don’t stop when you become unemployed, get a new girlfriend that you want to spend money on, etc etc.
Get a new job or second job. Mow some lawns, do some handy-work. Do whatever you need to do to step up to the plate and take care of your kids. Realize that it’s your responsibility and handle your business.
Amen!
Your a consultant and coach because you are getting paid to do so. I’m a man and I’ve been raising my son and he’s 17. I can tell you that it does not take $500 a month to raise him. I wanted custody so I took it upon myself.
Yeah right, jobs are aplenty these days, just snap one up….If you can’t care for the child without assistance from you donor, why not give custody of the child to the donor!? Both men and women need to do better, because you guys are not squeaky clean, at all…It is just another hustle for 99% of you, just like dialing 911, claiming assault, knowing d**n well we are en route to jail, if the police get there quick enough..Why should I have to pay for the AFDC, WIC, and medicaid you got, unbeknownst to us, because we have been paying you support. I want to see my child, why should it matter if I have another wife, who want’s to be involved with them!? It is not about you, never really was…I wanted kids with her, but she turned out to be all style, no substance..I am sure most of your kids are mistakes, accidents, and in reality, you can’t stand them, because they remind you of them, and are constant reminders of your continuous mistakes….
Sounds like a vent on the chick that dogged you what was it the pretty face, big a*s ? All that glitters ain’t gold hail Cesar LOL
Some of your statements are not true to all mothers. Just because you or whomever else regret laying down and making a baby might of been a mistake to you don’t mean all of us regret it. You live and you learn. Be careful who you have kids by and sleep with. We have laws for a reason. Not all men are do what they are supposed to do that’s why child support had to come along and help that brother or sister. I’m just saying do the right thing. Step up and be a man. And Derrick is just being plain out iggorant and a a$@. It doesn’t take all that. You act like you are the one that got a divorced and paying the child support. Not every black man is on child support. It’s people that are doing right by the kid and the mother. They might not be together as husband and wife or girlfriend and boyfriend anymore but he making sure his child and that child mother got the love and support and things he need. Not everyone still want there ex husband or ex boyfriend. Most of the men still want their ex whomever to give them what they used to get in the bedroom. That’s how you men even got into your situation. Either way you still have to have some kind of relationship with your kids mother even though it’s not about her or the new wife. That’s the child mother.
This brother is PAYING HIS SUPPORT, NOW! d**n! You heartless negroid fe-males are just like your greedy caucasoid counterparts…IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!
His ex-wife DIDN’T GIVE HIS DAUGHTER, NOT ONE DIME FROM HIS CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS, BUT SHE IS RIDING AROUND IN A NEW JEEP! DO THE MATH GODDAMMIT! You negroid fe-males think a Black man can go get a job in an instant! AIN’T NO d**n JOBS!!! The brother is in his ’60′s, who wants to hire him when he’s about ready to retire in 10 years? He has a MAJOR back problem from being crushed between a truck and a car. You negroid fe-males have been brainwashed by these crackers and your minds have been polluted with this child support bullshyt! MONEY CAN’T BUY LOVE…DO YOU OVERstand?
By the way…he gave his daughter $6,000 toward her college education and they see each other ALL the time now, once she found out the Truth about her greedy a*s mammy! The Truth always surface to the top.
I don’t give d**n if you’re the president of the unuted snakes of a******s, a woman ain’t suppose to keep THEIR child away from the husband when they divorce.
I’M BEGINNING TO SEE WHY BROTHERS DON’T WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH MATERIALISTIC NEGROID FE-MALES, SUCH AS YOURSELF!!!
IT’S ALWAYS THE MAN’S FAULT, BUT YOU NEGROID FE-MALES ARE THE MAJOR PROBLEMS BY KEEPING THE CHILD AWAY FROM THE FATHER.
I’M OUT!
Not always true. Many men could care less about seeing their children. And if they did, pay child support, and demand visitation/custodial rights. But you don’t care to fight for that now do you?
Derrick I am so sorry that you are so angry & I also feel for this brutha that you mentioned. Unfortunstely there are some women who are money motivated & see their children & child support as extra income for them. In the end this brutha was vindicated because his daughter learned the truth about her mother. It doesnt take away the pain but he does have a relationship with his daughter now & thats a blessing. On the flip side though Derrick most men are not like this brutha. Most men leave the mother with all of the responsibility including financial. Most men just walk away & begin new lives acting like their children dont exist. Most women have to go to court to get the help they need to provide for children that they did not have by themselves. They had help from these men getting pregnant but thesr same men dont want to help provide for their children. Men want to say that its not mony but love that a chold needs but love doesnt buy clothes shors food dr bills extra curricular activitirs etc. Money does that but love wiil make you give the money needed for all of these things. Love is what mothers do when we deny ourselves & provide for our children. My situation is the flip side of your friends. I am a motber in disability from a chronic illness. I only receive 1500/mo in disability. I have 2 children to provide for. Their father is well aware of this because child support is part of our agreed judgement of divorce. He refuses to pay. My account is overdrawn monthly. He has mived on remarried stopped communication & living life on his terms. I have yet to receive child support from him but I have received excuses. I went back to school & will graduate in Dec with my BSN because my children deserve more than excuses…thats what love does….it finds a way to provide indtead of complain about providing…..but you best believe…..he will pay me the child support that he oees mr….but that doesnt make me a money hungry negroid female…..that makes me a mother who lives & fights for her children.
These comments are disturbing. Child support is like anything else and can be misused on either side. My question re this man is what would he have done to take care of the kid if he had custody ? Probably everything in his power to provide! It’s sad people can’t work these things out but if you look at the numbers of kids living below the poverty level, they ARE mostly the ones who do not get support from both parents. My special needs child requires far more financially then other kids AND her dad KNOWS I spend money on her care yet when they start taking support he quits and often works under the table sayIng thIngs like he’s not paying for my car! That car is not his responsibility but that same car takes OUR child to schol because bus companies refuse to learn how to administer life saving meds in case of emergency before paramedics arrive. That car takes her go the hospital, doctor and wherever else SHE needs to go! She also needs a special air cleaner in her room! I don’t qualify for Medicaid so while he is busy figuring out his way to make us wait until he gets enough to pay, if I don’t take care of
both my children in spite of financial circumstance I’ll be charged with neglect and my daughter could die ! There are all different parents on both sides some good some bad !
The child support argument is two fold, whenever you have a responsible father involved in my opinion, the mother tend to make the communication and situation very stressful. Vice-versa, whenever you have an irresponsible father involved, the mother yearns for a level of responsibility. I urged, that every man exercise my three points of focus: financial support, emotional support and communicative support. As for financial support, always do the best you can, if you think the amount is a little high, file a petition for modification. Emotional support, make sure you contact your children every single day as to there well being. Keep in touch with their teachers and continue to give them confidence. Communication, make sure, that every dime you paid towards support, your children is inform about and you have receipt to support your claim. Whenever you visit with your children, give them a calculator to compute all of the monies you have paid thus far to counter all of the deadbeat rehtoric that their mother might be spewing.
I would argue that there should be ongoing counseling regarding child support for the mother and fathers.
My ex-husband chose to make up a story for the department of children and families so that he could get out of paying child support and the worker helped him not knowing what he had done in the past and that he had not paid for 10 years prior. I believe he paid her to help him get out of paying. They seemed to be very chummy and she was operating off of hearsay and saw nothing of what was being purported.
My children became confused and after seeing him arguing with me, yelling and screaming, became rebellious,upset, we were going back and forth to court while they were trying to discover some lie that was proclaimed by him.
He got out of child support for one year while this was going on, the children were supported solely by me the whole time. The department of children and families lied and said they were going to help but did not.
The man lied and came to my house and said he was taking them to his house to spend the night but after withdrew the children from their schools and said he was going to enroll them in the city where he lived, Lynn, MA and then he returned them to me, to cause more confusion, and stated that he could not care for them and that he wanted them in foster homes!
There is more to this!
Child Support is dangerous depending on who has to pay it and can lead to ugly outcomes!
WATCH WHERE YOU LAY,PIMP DADDY THE STUFF CATCH UP TO YOU.THAT’S WHY I SAY PEOPLE WILL LEARN AND SOMETIME’S THE HARD WAY,BUT BE WHERE THEERE IS NO HIDING FROM THE CHILD SUPPORT MAN!!!(he will get you)
My two cents is that if daddy did what he was supposed to do he wouldn’t have this problem. Father’s know to do the right thing. Even if the mother decides to not let the father see his child he won’t give up til he does. As my people say be careful with who you decide to have kids by. That can go for both genders. I feel that there are some good fathers out here doing what they need to do to spend time with there kid,take care of their kids, and see that he grows up well. Thats great!! Some mothers are just plain out rude and may just want the cheddar. But for real the kid needs everyday things and it wouldn’t be fair to just the mother to do it on her own. Especially if the mother has asked her ex,baby daddy,the child’s father,etc to help with things. Such as private school,clothes,food,etc. Sometimes it’s not the mother doing the wrong. People that have kids should just take care of there responiblity no matter what. It’s the kids that get hurt in the ends with the bickering and arguing between the two parents. This article isn’t degrading black women. Reread the heading. I remember asking this girl did she feel bad about buying a lil something for herself out of the child support since it is supposed to be spent on the child and not herself or for her habits. Well she said no because this it’s for all the times that she had to stand alone and take care of her child without his help. She went on to say its her money that paid for this and that when he wasn’t around to help her out with his doctors bills,diapers,childcare,etc. If you are doing your best as a Father and not a daddy more power to you. But if not get your properties together and get on the ball. When that child becomes a doctor, football player,the president,make it to the Olympics you will want to show your face then. You will come out of hiding from your child then. It does take more than money to raise a child. If you get into a position where you get disabled just show your face to your small one be there for the mother. She is the one who had the child went through the labor pains and nine times out of ten she was up alone when the child was sick. Do the right and right will follow you. No jobs don’t give up keep trying pushing and praying. Something will happen. It’s best that you communicate. It takes a real man to understand what a child needs. If men switched up from man to woman and a woman to man I wonder just how would the men feel and act. In other words put yourselves in a women shoes. I guess a woman can put themselves in a mans shoes also. It’s been long overdue for blacks male and female to stop with the ignorance. How we treat our sisters and brothers is just ugly. Nothing good will come from it.
Well said. I am doing what I can. Keep me in your prayers.
Thought I’d enter this discussion because I am affected by it! As of this year after my child is age 13 and after being there since birth, his mom filed on me though the AG office (which is for deadbeat dads) and I am paying $800 per month and this all started as he spends 5 days per week with me and 2 with her! I had my son on all school days and is very active in his education which is why I’m offened by the order even after pleading my case!
My child is under my health insurance, life and dental as well as I’m paying off a $10,000 loan thru my 401-K for Huntington Learning Center help! My child has always been provided for by me and the state treated me as a criminal. It’s ok though as I pay it and I’ve moved on but just wanted all the mom’s to know that not all of us are “Deadbeats” but the system controls us!
Stan, you are not alone, unfortunately. . .
How Could THIS Happen To A Good Dad?
I know a man who had 15 years, SOLE custody of his three children after the wife-mother left (due to none of his doings). They divorced soon after, remained apart ever since, and he continued to responsibly parent the children, non-stop, on through their now-adulthood. HE was stuck with paying her (the 100% absentee mother with no other children with him) over $60,000!!!! I am researching all the details and hope something can be done. BTW, all his kids are healthy, scholarship recipients, in college, with no grand babies, no police interactions, and they are model citizens. He even remarried, has a new child, and went back to school, and more good stuff. So, HOW could a state he doesn’t even live in anymore (nor does she) take the mother’s word for who-knows-whatever-she-said?
I am baffled and want to find others who know anything about Calif. and other states’ laws that could hold a man and his kids hostage for money when it is seemingly unwarranted. It’s clear that single-father discrimination against responsible dads is happening. HOW do we (concerned men and women) connect on this matter, readers? Ideas? Any legal eagles or others open to sharing ideas and assistance? I think this is abuse and, essentially, theft by the state(s) aiding some apparently “deadbeat” mothers. Please reply with helpful comments. Thanks.
I always knew that there were other men out there that do want to take care of their children. I would agree that there is definitely a double standard here.
I’m a non-custodial parent that’s paying child support with court vistations but no vistation and i’m current with support. I was informed by my child of support order, that she didn’t want to vist me (we reside in different states). I haven’t enforced order and communication with my child is sparely achieved. I keep records of everything and will inform court of non-compliance . It’s more important that I do the right thing and not engage in foolishness.
CHILD SUPPORT IS MORE MUCH MORE THEN MONEY. I HAVE TWO ADULT DAUGHTERS WHO RECIEVED CHILD SUPPORT UNTIL THEY WERE 19 AND 21. WHILE THE MONETARY SUPPORT WAS A BLESSING IT STILL DIDN’T COMPARE TO THE EMOTIONAL DEFICIT AND PAIN THEY EXPERIENCED BECAUSE THEY HAD NO EMOTIONAL CHILD SUPPORT FROM THEIR DAD. AS SINGLE PARENTS WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO RELY ON THE SYSTEM TO HELP US TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN. YES THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM IS WICKED AND UNFAIR AND THE COURTS CAN BE VERY UNFAIR WHEN IT COMES TO THE FATHERS RIGHTS BEING EQUAL THOSE THAT TRULY CARE FOR THEIR CHILDREN. HOWEVER MANY OF OUR BROTHERS LAY, PLAY AND FAIL TO STAY CONNECTED TO THEIR CHILDREN AFTER THE THRILL IS GONE. YOU DO REAP WHAT YOU SOW AND TO THOSE WOMEN OR MEN WHO KEEP THAT CHILD FROM HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PARENT OUT OF SPITE IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU. THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE HAVE TO TAKE RESPOSIBILITY FOR OUR CHOICES REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE SYSTEM DOES. IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR CHILD YOU WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE NO MATTER WHAT SO THAT IN THE END YOUR CHILD KNOWS YOU TRIED TO BE THERE. GOD HAS A WAY OF MAKING THE CHECKS AND BALANCES ADD UP.
I rely appreciate your comment about father that want to stay connect to their child. I am one of those fathers that want to be connected and feel as if I am being punished for doing so.
@derrick… old post but had to say something.
I dont know if you are black or white and honestly dont give a d@mn! What I do know is YOU ARE A RACIST AND SEXIEST p***k!! You blame crackers for the way “negroid women” act? Racist! Negroid women are the most horrible thing in the world because they want help taking care of these “brotha’s” kids! SEXIEST!
POOR POOR PITIFUL YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHAS!
You think…No white man has ever went to jail for child support. No way! Our world only holds black men responsible. I know white women and men who have gone to jail for non payment. you keep the enslavement, hatred, racism, and victimizing of black people alive! You and every other little p***k that turns every headline into a racist battle. You did not belong to me or my ancestors so stop blaming us crackas for it. Look in the mirror! It starts and ends right there in that reflective surface.
And read your comments again. You dont only hate crackas- you hate white women, white men, black women, and all authority.
Its obvious that you hate black women as well seeing as you refer to black men as brothers but refer to black women as negroid. You refer to whites as crackas and caucasoid. Crackas shows your hatred and the caucasoid/ negroid shows you feel the same for white and black women. This shows women of the same color arent as high on your scale. So once again… You are a racist and sexiest p***k. Im sure your mother would be so proud.
Quite honestly I dont give a d@mn if you are white or black because sh!+ comes in all colors and that is what you are.
I have read some of the comment on this post and I will agree that the CS enforcement system can lead men and women alike to becoming bitter. I would like to tell you my story and you all are free to comment. I have learned that comments whether good or bad can be helpful in some way.
I was married for 14 years and my ex got pregnant by another man. Not only did she have the baby, two day after getting out of the hospital she had another house to live in fully furnished with brand new furniture. She filed for one year continuance vs. my grounds of adultery.
I make $50,000 a year with my job and disability combined. She owns her own Daycare center and can make over $80,000 a year. Visitation was very liberal and there was not schedule in place. The arrangement we made between the two of us was that I would get the kids every weekend and slit the summer. I would help get the kids to school also since I lived closer to the school and I would get to see them before school. However that fell short because she would not arrive on time at the meeting point and would make me late for work. I even suggested that the children live with me during the week so that I could get them to school on time and get to work in a timely manner. She refused. She felt it was her responsibility alone. When summer time came she reneged on this arrangement. She would not let me have the kids for summer vacation for the past two years.
Keep in mind that nether one of us can obtain depth or sell any marital property. I had to maintain the marital home along with two mortgages were as before I depended on the income that she bought in when we were together. We had Shared Joint custody with no child support in the beginning. She claimed that her income fell from $80,000 to $14,000 making my income 3 times higher than hers. She took me back to court for child support. She is self-employed through her privately owned daycare and also claimed that that our children required after school care of $600.00 when she was the one keeping them afterschool. Needless to say I’m order to pay $1500 a month in child support. That $750.00 every two week and I only bring home $733.00 after tax and deduction for health insurance that I keep on her and the kids. She also gets a credit for the extra child. We owned two other properties that she allowed to go to foreclose. That not only killed my credit but also prevents me from being able to downsize so that I can at least try to make some kind of payments towards my child support.
These days and times your credit is checked in order to rent apartment and to rent a house on my own would be over what I can afford. I love my kids dearly and I have been very active in their live by taking them to church and helping with homework when I could. I even asked for more time with the kids and did not get it. I am now $6000.00 behind and have to go before the court because my payments were not all on time. In the final hearing the Judge ruled for a divorce on the grounds of one year continuance, split everything 50/50, and I have to buy her out of the marital home that has no equity. If I go to jail I lose everything. Without knowing my age or race, am I still considered a dead beat because I am trying? ? I even petitioned the court for more time with my children and I still got standard visitation. I my situation I do feel that the Family Courts do favor the women.