Does the Black Church Keep Women Single, Lonely and Vulnerable? A New Book Claims that it Does
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, BlackBlueDog.com
Deborrah Cooper is the author of an interesting new book: “The Black Church: Where Women Pray and Men Prey.” Cooper has written extensively about the state of black women on the dating scene and their quest to find Mr. Right. Unfortunately for too many women, Mr. Right is actually “Mr. I Don’t Give a d**n,” leading some to wonder about the state of black love and relationships.
I met Deborrah a couple of years ago when she wrote a highly compelling article entitled, “How the Black Church Keeps Women Single and Lonely.” Deb’s article got millions of reads, which is extraordinary for a piece that is focused on a specific demographic. Even the article I wrote about her article got several hundred thousand views back when I used to do my thing for AOL Black Voices (you know, the company that was ruined by Arianna Huffington – it’s sad, but most black online media outlets are ultimately controlled by white people).
Deborrah is not a simple woman. She is often in-your-face and hardcore in her principles on dating to the point that I disagree with her often. I don’t believe that love should be war, but the battle of the sexes between black men and women can sometimes become a very ugly blame game. However, while I might disagree with Deb on occasion, I think that her new book opens the door for a compelling conversation about the state of black love in America, and how women can overcome of the dirty pimps that exist in some of America’s most powerful pulpits.
I agree with the premise of Deb’s book because we’ve all seen it far too often: The so-called “sanctified” church man who uses the hypnotic power of black female loyalty to spread his genitalia throughout the entire church. In many cases, these men are married with kids, thumping their bibles at whoever passes by and quoting just enough scripture to get into a woman’s panties. Some of them, like Bishop Eddie Long, even have the audacity to condemn the gay community during the day and sweat with them on the dance floor on Friday nights. There is nothing holy about a hypocrite.
Power can corrupt even the most noble men. I don’t have as much power as some people I know, but I have more power than a lot of people I know. I’ve oftentimes seen situations where women would trust me instantly because they’ve heard of me and admire what I do. While such admiration can be wonderful food for the ego, I try to remind those I meet that giving unconditional trust to anyone (even so-called black leaders) is a recipe for manipulation.
Even if you go back to the great Malcolm X, he was horribly manipulated by his unwavering loyalty to the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, and that loyalty cost him his life. You should never let any person hijack your brain, no matter how well-intended they appear to be. This is especially true when money or s*x are involved, since most men are highly tempted by both.
I encourage you to watch the interview (below) and think through the issues presented in Deb’s book. You may not agree with everything, but there should be a conversation on this matter. Women who are looking for true and genuine love must realize that sometimes, you are as likely to find God outside the church as you are to find him in it. In fact, the devil hangs out in both places.
The interview is below:
144 Responses to Does the Black Church Keep Women Single, Lonely and Vulnerable? A New Book Claims that it Does
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Your wrong about Malcom X and Elijah Muhammad.
No he’s is actually right about Malcolm X . He was brainwashed by the hypocrite and liar called Elijah Muhammad.
Excuse me,but that happened so many years ago
That right there does not mean much in reality when it comes to what is really happening to black people in this country.This old grudge will not and has not done all the poor people anygood at all
Myself,I am objective so I can see way beyond this point you are making .It’s time to move on for sure.
Peace out
I agree.
she is just making a point of reference.
Racist caucasians have created a stock pile of dangerous weapons with the intent of killing you know who! The only response from AA’s to this serious threat is to continue buying more gold teeth, tattoos, hair extensions, alcohol, tobacco products, crack and other BS. Caucasians created a fake god- a white man to whom black ppl pray to each day and night. The book associated with this fake god- the Bible instructs black ppl to “Love thy enemy” and “Slaves obey your Masters”. Black people, your enemy is planning to wage an all-out war against you and your response is to- Love and Pray for them. Black ppl, please realize you must overcome your fear of cacasians which is responsible for your paralysis to this eminent violence. The time has come for black ppl to stop being slave minded drones to this wicked nation and fake religion.
you’re
Interesting….
This is an old story. Do you have any solutions?
I remember a church where the passa could have any woman in the church that he wanted. He chose the prettiest and flyest one to be his wife. A solution is for these women to get up off the knees. There are good men outside the church.Juanita Bynum thought she had a holy man until he whipped that a**e on a hotel parking lot in ATL. I’m sure she prayed for him too same as the women who got aids from that pastor(can’t remember his name). Eddie Long’s wife may not have been surprised that he liked the boys. She might’ve even rolled in the hay a few times with them. Women put so much faith in the men in the church and become desperate and lonely until they get so old no one wants them anyway. Lo and behold they become the “mothers” of the church, and sweet in the Lord, making a run on BenGay for the arthritic, calloused knees.I know they didn’t plan for it to end that way. Women have to put some of that faith in themselves in terms of the choices they make and not to rely on an intangible entity to give them what they know they need. PS, it’s not going to come from the church or other women’s husbands.
The English bible has made, even the mere illiterate, the grandest of fools. If we desire the truth w/o misleading words which are thrown around and are impactful as hsoen in the King James version. The word
“Lord” has been so mis-read and misintrepreted in the scriptures that I’m getting ready to blast off into heavenly outer space to find my beloved relatives. But, yes ! my “Black Queens” you may love an earthly man and have little conflict until you start pounding the “God or Jesus”. Well, we as men on this planet we call “Earth” have no other grounds to stand on or for that matter, as you. So, you dont have to be lonely, not if you hold back on some material toys, then …everything is everything.
this book is opening up a huge cancer that need to be addressed by the church leadership.and ministers and lay people. this is a “BOMBSHELL”.
First of all, this discussion ignores all of the Black women who are in the church who date, get married, sometimes divorced, and then married again. It provides a narrow view. Do we even know what the numbers or percentages of these women are? No because we are only checking for that which depicts Black woman as non-powerful in their womanhood and desperate. I know a lot of beautiful saved and church going women who do not have these problems. I was raised in the Black church since I was born and I dated as frequently as any of my secular friends. I married and when my first husband passed, I dated and married again. Both my husbands were responsible African American professional men with jobs. Both treated me well and loved me because I loved me and I never had any fear that someone else would. By the way, I’m thick, dark and my hair is nappy. The church is a social institution and can be pleasant. There is bad in the church like anywhere else. There are other Black women and male scholars and critics of the Black church who have written well developed and thought out reports on this. What you guys are saying is frankly, nothing new. With respect to Black women, I resent this fear that the press and others in pop culture keep trying to instill in Black women with this repeated woe is me focus. We are doing so much; why does every other article keep promoting some disadvantaged focus? We have many Black women leading churches with and without husbands for example. How are they succeeding? This would be a good article topic. Why doesn’t someone write about that? What about all the good work that Black women are doing in churches and because of their faith around the world? My current husband and I have been married 12 years and are still going strong, however we are so much more than that together and individually. My humble observation is that it is not the church, it is the woman. The friends that I have who are in the church who are struggling with this issue and trying to make that walk are good and faithful women, however, they have personal issues that prevent them from securing a relationship, that would be present even if they were not in the church. Being in church does make it harder. I’ve been there. It is tough, because you have to hold yourself and a man accountable to an additional standard. When dating, any extra variable seems to make securing a permanent and long – term relationship harder despite the couple’s race. Ladies, look for a mature partner. A respectful partner who has lived and understands life and who is willing to step up to the plate because he knows what’s up and is grown. Stop looking for a partner you have to raise and then repeatedly make excuses for. Get yourself together first though. Then look for your complement only. These men want good women too and they know how to shift through the junk and cast it aside too so be ready. There are many brothers and men and women (if the latter is you) of other races and ethnicities, who are looking for you. Don’t limit yourself.
God Bless you for sharing. I, however find your view of other women being unable to find mates as having “personal issues that prevent them from securing a relationship” as insulting and myopic. Everyone has issues and I am sure you have yours too much as you seem unable or unwilling to identify them.
We have huge problems in society at large when it comes to relationships but the problems are particularly glaring in the black community. I don’t think that implying black women are at fault is helping matters at all.
BTW I myself am a black woman but not single.
I agree with the majority of your reply DJ. It was very well put if I may say so. I do however agree with the fact there are those of other ethnicities looking….literally they may be, but for it to be complementary entails more than being with one of the same race. Being in a racist ocuntry makes it an arduous road if one lives in areas where it is not looked upon so liberally.
These relationships between us black folks have gotten way off track as of late. we all have these standards in mind that must be met; however now i am beginning to believe we have become unrealistic in our hopes. have we been lead into a fairy tale whose ending leaves most of us single snd waiting for this person to appear. i am just saying.
In my life I’ve witnessed women in the church, praying for a husband, They grow old in the church, praying for a husband. My suggestion for these women is to dust off the knees, and go on down to the club and get you some.Many of the sisters on their knees don’t even bother to make themselves even remotely attractive. They think a brother is going to look into their hearts, see God and become glad and joyful because they found a good Christian woman. Not. They prefer the peacocks. The women who present themselves in a certain way that draws their attention. There is such a thing as physical appeal. Why do you think most of them have calloused knees? The women who draw husbands in the church are the women who make themselves attractive and attracting. Many would say, “that’s not of God”, well we live in a real world where keeping it real gets you through the day. If these sisters empower themselves, I doubt they’d be on their arthritic knees into late middle age praying to be blessed with one of the pimps that populate the church.
I was raised in the black church and now I don’t go much.
I only visit the church. A lot has happened to me.
I believed in the power of prayer but my prayer was never answered.
I am going to get your book.
Juanita Mumford
The truth is Black Women are crazy, and it’s the Black Man’s fault. The Black Man has not been there for the Black Women, she has done everything alone, without any support! We don’t support each other, everyday living is stressful when your alone, raising kids alone, paying bills alone get it! Black Women have to quit being angry and stop wasting their time with tfifeling men. Be more choosey who they fool with and realize they can’t do it alone! You need a man and we need you! Black People we need each other, were all we got!
Tell the truth— truth teller – circumstances of the role of the Black woman as the concubine has caused this whole sickness of the lack of leadership we see being acted out within our community- by the Black Man. Our Black Queen has bared the burden of soothing the needs of the oppressor- may it have been voluntary or straight out raped. She was able to save her children at times when their lives were in jeopardy. To look at our times and all the hateful obstacles that have been placed in front of us in the last 40 years- the Black woman is the Mother of Earth and we – Black American Man is the Target on the Earth I.e. Obama-
Boycott Christmas 2012
When you called “black men” trifling this also includes you fool or, are you one of those dumb a*s-clowns that hurl insults while pretending to be free of shortcomings?? We’re waiting on your response.
Having worked in the field of Corrections,I have encountered members of all races that have committed outrageous and unspeakable crimes.
To say black men are trifling is really showing ones ignorance. But I guess when someone is a mental slave they have no other choice but to make less than intelligent statements.
I think what he really meant to say is. stop wasting your time and energy on someone that does not have your well being or interest at heart. its a lot of users out there who are just taking advantage of women who could be doing a lot better in his estimation. we have to get away from all this drama and rebuild our race in the right direction. first we have to find common ground to light that spark that once found us so in love with black women.
My sister, I know from whence you come. Been there, done that.SELF EMPOWERMENT IS A REMEDY.
This is nothing new under the sun.We who are Christians or not know that there are predators who prey on the weakminded and children.Predators who can be regular members or some who just go for that purpose,or choir members,deacons,ushers,co-pastors on down to the pastor who do these things in every faith.But I don’t agree that the black church keep women single,lonely,and vulnerable.
I haven’t read the book yet, and I will get it, but I will say that faith should be in God, not man. If one is truly seeking God and trusting him (God) to guide them; they will be able to see the “phony & fake” in everyone, even the preacher.God will always show you…it’s up to you to acknowledge. There isn’t one woman who doesn’t see and know when a man, no matter what power he holds, is coming for her….his words, his look…most importantly…his motive, which sticks out like a sore thumb. Men are not smooth or discreet, some women just allow it to happen, but are not too pleased when it turns out to be just all about the s*x. When it starts out the wrong way…wrong is where it will end. I, in no way will ever condone the misbehavior of a “Man of God”, but I will leave you with this….he is a man before anything else.
You have spoken well in my opinion. I agree with you. Men are men first and pastors, Presidents, Senators, athletic directors, choir leaders, priests, etc. second, don’t you fool yourself. God (Mother Nature)made men to want s*x from a woman and he gave women all the tools to attract men. This is the strongest drive between human beings; not love, not compassion, not understanding but procreation of the species. It’s just that simple. We have to be taught these other things that differentiate us from “lower” animals.
well put!
Too many times we let others tell us what to think and say…Wake up ladies!challenge what others tell you…read, educate urselves.
It has been said over and over and over KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!
It’s true, knowledge is so powerful. Don’t let someone else think for you.
This has been my belief all along!
I can’t wait to read Deborah’s book ohhh thank you sister your more than right about these pastors and churches who pimp these women minds and the prey that HANG OUT in them!
All predators don’t attend church either.
There are soooo many examples of the truth is Lady’s book. Examples in the news, examples in our families, examples in our churches. When these things happen they are never secret. The congregation is always quick to forgive and re-instate, setting the stage for the Pulpit pimp to strike again. I live in a small community of 3,000 with 7 churches. Pastors in 3 of these churches have been caught in affairs with women other than their wives. They are all still preaching. I believe in forgiveness, but every time I made an error on my job there was a price to pay. We have propped the man with a bible up so high they can do no wrong. The consequences are in the news every day. Any woman in the church would be disillusioned by these spiritual guides who are supposed to be leading an example. Until congregations start handing down their own punishment, there is no consequence to prevent repeat offences.
I couldn’t have said it better myself!! Thank you!!!!
I was told this over 20 years ago. My fiance and I went to our first pre marital class and we both have been married before with children. The minister had the nerve to tell us we should not be having s*x and we shouldn’t be living together. I’m almost 50. I am so glad there are many more sins than FORNIFICATION. That is the only sin ministers know. I have a son in college and I’m telling him to wear a condom NOT “don’t have s*x before marriage”.
Why would you promote sin to your son? Why are you sinning. When you sin, you are trangressing the Lord Will for abundant life. That is why Black people are failing. Everyone wants to read Deborah’s book, but they should be reading the Bible. Any fool can see that if the Lord’s commandments were kept, there would be a great improvement in the lives of all people. Get wisdom from the Bible and apply it to everyday life and enjoy books like Deborah’s and that should be the only place that her book plays in your life. Amen
What did you think or hope the minister would say- that there is nothing wrong with cohabiting and engaging in pre marital s*x?? Would you really consider him a leader/man of god if he said that?? You knew what you were doing was unacceptable to the church even before you entered your pre marital class, you were just hoping the minister would validate your non Christian behavior.
I believe the title is misleading because it makes a broad generalization about the Black Church. For those of you who have read the book, is the author’s premise that the Black Church, which traditionally has male leadership preying on women in their congregations or that Black women in the church are looking for and expecting Mr. Right to be godly and therefore no man is “good enough”? As a pastor, surely in my church this is not the case…. or is it?
I agree with you. There is too much generalization here and too much hate. Dr. Watkins bothers me because time and time again, he keeps trying to present this space as a place of elevated ideas and dialogue, but what it has really become is a forum for him to ground out his personal axes. No problem, but let’s call it what it is — a gossip mill.
No disrepect to this sister, however, there are many well thought out texts on these matters that are well-written and that don’t pander to media-hype and exploitation to make money, like Dr. Sallie Cuffie’s work and others, critical work by both men and women,who have a grounding and an actual concern about the Black church. These people are real reformers rather than rock throwers. Anybody can stand outside and throw rocks. Few want to roll of their sleeves and make things better. The matters discussed here are being taken up at Black ministers and church conferences. There are actually people in the ministry and the church who are aware and who are equally concerned about the problems. These two do not discuss the amount of training, workshops and closed church meetings that are taking place through which new policies and practices are being born. That would actually be a worthwhile news story and it would expand the dialogue. We’ve been throwing rocks for years, what is different about this account? Boyce had a chance to be the earnest scholar he repeatedly claims to be, the out of the box thinker, but this sensationalism shows his true intentions. The more progressive churches are moving to; and in many cases have already addessed such issues. Also, there are more women in the ministry and this is bringing about much needed change and reforms. Can we get a story about that? I am not being defensive. I expect scholars, such as these two claim to be, to present a more balanced view for the sake of discovery and of really addressing systemic concerns. The Black church is one of the Black community’s strongest institutions. Many of our businesses and community-based organizations have been severely challenged to the point of being closed or marginalized. We should have learned from this. We bad mouthed them to death, instead of coming up with creative solutions to infuse training to build capacity. Now, here we go with the next targets, Black ministers and the congregations who support them. Contrary to Boyce’s account, not all Christians hang out in the club gyrating, drinking and sinning and then show up in church to cleanse. This is an old played-out stereo-type. While many Christians do mix lifestyles and there is truth to this claim, many don’t so knock it off. The new Black church is to come take notes from the segment of the scripture presented and then to go home to study it further and find out how it applies to one’s life. That is a scholarly approach which connects to African American’s advanced literary and academic education. It signals a more literate, not ignorant, church. It means that people are studying what the pastor has said alone on their own, and as such disputes the author’s claim that women are just taking the pastor’s word and not studying the Bible independently. I can’t understand why a professor would make fun of this as Dr. Watkins did here. In terms of the article on religiosity and Black women. Boyce, brother scholar, the answer lies in historically Black colleges and academies (our first schools) that were built after reconstruction with the support of church groups. These schools provided both general and religious instruction to the point where Black women were trained to be both strongly religious and to be levers of our community. I have never heard of any brother complain about the latter, nor make fun of it, since sisters have carried so much of our collective burden and it has benefitted them. I also do not believe this article. I live in a Latino community where Mexican women drop babies continually who can not afford them because they are Catholic and their religion dictates that they do not use birth control. These women are having so many babies due to their faith, that they are the fastest growing demographic in our nation, and are changing the American landscape as we speak, so how can African American women be the leading religious group? I also live among Muslim women from Africa and the Middle East who also have this practice, but who may not be on the social – monitoring radar and as such are not considered for these studies. No one in their communities, however, makes fun of, nor deems them as being ignorant because they have strong faith; they are in fact elevated for it. But, we in the African American community, have clowns, witches and bafoons who would degrade any cultural belief or effort that those in their community make toward uplift. The black church feeds people literally who would otherwise be hungry, it builds senior citizen homes and youth centers, it is sometimes the only place where smart children can go and receive support and acknowlegement of their accomplishments, it is family, it is community, it is sometimes shelter from the storm. It lifts people up who are on drugs, prostituting, or drinking out of control and who may have ended up in an alley or a crack den, when their own families don’t want to touch them. The church is its people, and it is church members who do this work on a daily basis. Have Boyce and his guest made these kind of sacrifices or labored in this way on a volunteer basis, year after year as I have seen other people in the Black church do — after they have done the job where they are employed and held down their families? Is this the only story you have to tell about the Black church? Really? Again. It’s not like we haven’t heard it on this site before. I am all for holding institutions accountable, even the Black church, however, this story has gotten old. Tell another story for a change. There is so much to report on. God bless us all.
Amen, ashe & RIGHT ON DJ well stated!
thanks. well said.
Well stated by both, I must say that I am losing faith in the media by which claim to be Black and intelligent. By no means am I trying to insult or demean anyone’s intellectual prowess, however to be of an academic nature usually implies offering the topic up for discussion, however as I have noticed recently, it has been more notably chastising difference of opinion as opposed to welcoming discussion and ideas that may offer alternatives to status quo. In all honesty, this particular topic is rather stereotypical and should not be given a blanket generalization in reference to the Black church as many are cornerstones within the community.
Thank you for encouraging me to use my sense of goodness
- it can become habit forming as to waddle in the muck and filth of negative vile onslaughts of mean spirited reactionaries—-
Boycott Christmas 2012
i think black women are afraid of what they have seem with the drug epidemic….trying to give a black man a chance and he’s tied up in the drug life….if he selling that not good but it not addiction….and i think this hads been the main problem and they should be careful….but you still got to have that black child…and i know they see the black man and the white women and they hate that..same with the black women with the white man..but all in all i think slavery and aparthied still have that whole on black people….no land to build anf grow every you get still comes throught the white man…so the black men never build a foundation of wealth and power for the black women to feel free….o they got a bunch of car but they still need the work from the white man to up whole that car and same thing the house or place to stay…no real black steability….we as blacks still have to go throught the white man for every thing like we are still slaves
Wil-lie, are you a complete idiot or just pretending. African Americans have made great strides in this country overcoming tremendous obstacles that would have destroyed other groups. Unfortunately, the media has brain washed you and many others into thinking you are menial and useless. I own my primary residence not the white man, I own my five rental properties, not the white man, I own my real estate and insurance businesses not the white man. Please stop thinking like a slave and understand you are FREE. However, with freedom comes responsibilities; in order to expand my business 10 years ago I decided to stop drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and cannabis in order to stay focus and achieve my goals. Growing up as a child in the south my mother would often tell my brother and I that we had to be smarter and better than the white man if we plan to get ahead. Although, at the time I didn’t understand what she meant I knew she loved me so I absorbed her knowledge and followed her instructions. To this day I go all out and compete for everything from REO contracts, affluent clients to new business opportunities, going head to head mostly with white men and women and I always recall what momma used to say “you have to be smarter and better than the white man if you plan to get ahead”
I’ve seen quite a bit…I agree with you on most of the information discussed in the interview…it’s pathetic how women are waiting for that ‘saved’man to walk in the church…the saints tell these women that ‘the man must be saved’…wow…and now you have a bunch of single women and most are without children..now what??? almost seems like a sort of genocide…I’m just saying
Basically she has a major point. First of all black america is stuck in a time warp.The 60′s,70′s civil rights are over with.
These days if a black man is not in some church sitting next to or with all these single women in these churches. He is assumed to be a so-called athesist or gay black male .If not that he is cast into h**l by some of these judgemental bible people.
All of our activity as a collective in this country need’s be updated ASAP.This living under and getting dependent and locked into a eurocentric,slave type paradigm is the major reason why there is some much arguing and division going on.
This does not mean that none of us women or men should not be religous or believe in some god or jesus.It means it is time to take it to a whole new level and leave all this slave type mentally and the distorted behavior that goes with it behind in history on a plantation
The following is not meant to be an excuse for the behavior of so many black men in the U.S.A. However, I believe that ignoring history can result in false or partially false solutions to today’s problems.
We blacks were kidnapped and transported to the USA to be chattle slaves; to be used like machines or horses to produce wealth. In order to do this efficiently the slave owners had to de-humanize us. In other words in the eyes of the owners we were not human beings, but simply intruments, objects or animals capable of producing economic wealth.
Many factors are involved in the de-humanization of a human being. In the USA one factor was the destruction of the family.
Examples :
Young fertile women were raped by white masters to produce more instruments of profit or slaves.
Children were seperated from thier mothers early on.
Love between black people was not tolerated because family ties among black people was not good for the bottom line.
In other words, chattle slavery, as practiced in the USA, incorporated the destruction of the black family just as it forbade education and literacy among the slave population.
When the chattle slavery system was replaced by the economy in place today, the black family was in shambles. I hestiate to say destroyed because it is a testement to our resilence that we resisted and, in spite of some of the most coercive laws ever to govern a chattle slavery system, black families existed. Black men and women did fall in love and have children and continued to have long distance relationships when the family was inevitably seperated.
If black women were raped, then black men were emasculated. That is they were legally and forcebally forfeited of their right to be husbands, breadwinners , fathers and protectors of their own.
Black men and women were born and raised to be one thing only: instruments of money making for the owners. Thus family ties, education or any other factor ivolved in the humanization of an individual became not only superflous but dangerous. Anything that could distract a black person from performing his duties as a chattle slave was forbidden.
This is how we were forced to live, under the threat of fire arms, police and army, until a mere 150 years ago.
I once heard somebody say « the north won the war militarily but the south won the cultural war ». In other words, except for the fact that most black people are paid a miserly sum when they are lucky enough to find work, the laws and ideas that governed the chattle slave system are still alive and thriving today.
And in my opinion as long as we live in a system that is based on the exploitation of the vast majority by a tiny few at the top, black people in this country will continue to suffer from poverty, family-malfuntion, and all the ills inherent in a system that places profits – the bottom line- above human beings.
Yes some black people « make it ». Even President Obama exists. And has this changed anything for the great majority of Americans whether black white or other? But especially for us black folk, because of our history as forced chattle slaves, nothing will change – our men will go on “not doing what men are supposed to do” and “women will continue to do it alone” because this is how the system thrives. A few escape this economic fate. Just enough so the The Man can turn around and say: “you have a black president. So if you are poor, a dead-beat dad, a bad mother, it’s totally your individual fault”.
In the mean time the rich get richer and the poor (especially blacks) get poorer and the black family continues to go down the tubes.
Lares, the truth is always worth the words. One day we are going to go a step farther in analyzing the consequences of adopting another peoples’ religion and what that does to the mind. Especially, when that religion genesis is an adaptation of your own religion.
Thank you for your post.
Great comment!!!!!!!!
Sadly, a lot of our people will read this and disagree. Fear doesn’t allow change. Some would rather continue to think we’ve made it since a few of us have money and status. Not recognizing that money and status is not the end all be all. 150 years is not a long time. Even today we still have police brutality, menial wages and other forms of slavery. Do we see the effects loud and clear? It is obvious to those who choose to see, hear and know that we must change!
Ask yourselves, what has TRULY changed?
Well put, Lares!
This is how I understand it.
Women (African) were brought here for whatever, but the main purpose was to become breeders, “free for all”.
Men and male children were to provide physical labor, not use their minds to think, to work the farms or take order (Police, Johnny Jumpers: a Jamaican term for Black male slaves who were in charge of lesser degree slaves, that were sent to round up runaway slaves or disobedient slaves and who had the right to torture them enough to bring them back to the slavemaster for more abuse (see the book: Night Women). They also, Johnny Jumpers, took advantage of the women.
After slavery was theoretically abolished, African post slavery women in America were given jobs to cook, clean, care after the children etc., of the slavemasters procreation; basically the same thing that was done during slavery, but now for a small amount of change.
How are any oppressed people to bring about this solid family structure after issues like these, as a whole.
Were psychologists ever brought in to help the people conytend with oppression, depression, suppression? No!
People are still scrambling with issues lingering from the past of way back and don’t know it!
The women are tired of all of the c**p that has been thrown at them in the name of love, marriage, motherhood, womanhood etc., and the whole game was about the s****l relationship.
Check out the jungle and animal kingdom, the animals procreate and move on. We are supposed to be higher thinking, learning, intelligent people but we commit the same acts.
Women can stop the procreation if not owing to rape, molestation, being lied to or teased with promises.
Then what new family shall exists.
Perhaps loneliness is the new man as well as welfare, foodstamps, dss (department of social services)!
It might be argued that black people in general and many in particular, are still suffering from the ill effects of the chattel slavery system. We hear about veterans returning from war and suffering with what is called PTSD. Record indicate that it is never totally curable. The Veterans Administration awards millions of dollars to ease the psychological pain of these victims. I believe that we as a race have PTSD…”Pain That Slavery Did”.
Post traumatic slave syndrome residuals!
Wow, really enjoyed the conversation. Great stuff! The power of culture and indoctrination that keeps us bound, both brothers and sisters. As a black male, the farther I got away from the institutional traditional church the closer I got to the true and living God. Jesus warns us over and over that there will be false teachers, false prophets, false apostles, false brethren, false doctrines, and this is the big one, the evil of the tradition of man. When you look at the blueprint for the Christian church that is laid out in Acts and the teachings of the apostles, and look at these man centered money driven American churches of today, there is nothing recognizable. The thing is, God holds us responsible for who we follow and whether or not we follow the truth or put those church relationships, false security and comfort above the King. Stop rationalizing away the constant stream of red flags that appear before you. Stop suppressing your discernment and what God has placed in you that says this is WRONG. Start believing that God wants His best for you, not some jive time mess. Have the courage to WALK AWAY from the traditional institutional church and believe that you can come to your heavenly father YOURSELF and not through some so called hired hand pastor. God will bring some like minded people into your life that truly want God and not some social club. Don’t seek God through the traditional institutional church, shoot, you can have church over the phone even, just say’n. Seek Him through prayer and reading His word for yourself and then you will start experiencing the New Testament church and relationship with the King. Jesus is your High Priest first and foremost! Listen to Him! Much Love and God Bless!
Ruach Ha Kodosh – the Holy Spirit should be our bulwark and Advisor. He has the power to assist in all that we need. If His assist, power, and gifts were sufficient for our Lord, Yeshua/Jesus then we as followers of the Way should diligently seek to possess ALL of FREE gifts that Elohim has to offer that will assist us in ALL areas of our lives as we sojourn on planet Earth until our beloved Yeshua’s return. I agree with you Brother Chas, we must break away from the bondage of the Law and embrace Elohim’s Grace and live. We need relationship with the Eternal One and NOT slavery in religion, that is IF we profess to be children of the Most High.
Amen!
I need to preface that my reply was intended for Chas.
Correction, 7th paragraph, the word for contend was misspelled as conytend, hit the button too fast before realizing the wrong spelling.
This is a tired and stupid arguement.
At the end of the day, any woman of any race wanting a husband must trust God to send the right man into her life. She must focus her trust and faith in the Lord that in HIS timing all things will work together for her good including the man of her dreams. Whether he is in the church or not isn’t the issue. It’s a matter of a woman being mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepared to receive the husband God has for her. She must be wise to those men who would try to deceive her. She must be so busy enjoying her life, preparing herself for that husband, and being about the “Father’s business” that he will show up without her looking for him. AMEN!!!!
While attending church you feel that the preachers/deacons is doing the work of the lord. Their are some that really is …But their is alot of them thats not, its their chance to get in women panties..You have to be careful of these men, that claim that they are the man of god…God didnt tell them to be messing around in the church building under its roof with other women while married…They are men first before the church of god and christ…
Their are alot of whores in the pullpit…players and just man hungry men that has a devils appetite.Be watchful…I have never trusted man in the church building, they will say or do anything to get what they want, they just using God word to do it, this has been going on for years.
There was a time when all black people had was faith in God! Now all we do is find fault in the same word that has brought us from nothing! Lord have mercy on YOUR people!!!!!
When we allow ourselves to try understand the culture of the Africans in America, before the law allowed them to practice Christianity, it appears that when every child reached the age to re-produce, they made a pledge to their mothers that they would never in life do anything to cause their mothers to shed tears of sorrow. The power of that pledge was taken away from the mother, at the point of a gun by a law, of May 10th, 1740, and then given to the un-trained black preacher, to help the slave holders keep them under control, and nothing has changed. It appears that if we could figure out a way to give back to the black mother the power she had over her children when she stepped off the slave ship, we could empty the prison and reduce the death of so many young people in twenty five (25) years. tom
Preety good. Thanks.
Plain and simple. The ‘Bible’ states; Idoltry is a sin. Stop putting these pastors above ‘God’. They are there to interpret the Bible for you. However, you have to be careful because words can be twisted. Read the ‘Bible’ yourself. You know what is right and wrong”.
I agree. In addition, don’t put them at the left hand of the Almighty either. Also, read the bible with a few others…discuss, don’t argue!
The Spirit will be with y’all.
There is no doubt that that may occur in some churches, but not all church leaders are like that. Many are truly called by God and live accordingly. Moreover, if the case studies that Deborrah cites in her book are true, then she should be calling them out so they will discontinue misleading people. As Christians, we are to test the Spirit with the Spirit. For God will not have His people ignorant. God instructs us to study to show ourselves approved, and warns us of false teaching and forbids idolozing. It cannot be stressed enough to read the Word of God for yourself, and allow the Lord to minister to your heart, mind, and soul. On the flipside, it is very dangerous to make a sweeping generalization, for it could back fire and turn people away from God, and we are living during times that we need God more than ever.
A ton of folks are covering this topic from A to Z, with all kind of ideas, both good, bad, sensible and stupidly, so I’ll just say a few words and quit. Black women are still putting too much confidence, faith and trust in black men (and I’m a black man) who are the black race’s worst enemy, and the sorriest of all men on the planet. We should be the greatest men on earth, but we are simply not being the men that we should and need to be, which keeps what ought to be the greatest race of all at the bottom. And then black women also continue putting far too much confidence, faith and trust in this white-oriented Christianity and the black preaches. When the preachers are from the same category that I just spoke of when I said black men. So now you all take it from here, and fill in what I could do but will now leave to you to do. Black women keep the churches open and in business, when preachers should not even be paid to preach the words of God. And much of what is being preached involves many of the myths, fairy tales and lies that are all through this man-made Bible, which does have some very good and much needed messages, but is and has been so tampered with and misinterpreted, that much of it should not be listened to. Such as, for example, the Adam and Eve of a mere 6,000 years ago, L-I-E. As well as black folks allegedly being cursed; Jews being the chosen people; a h**l down below in the earth; Jesus being white with blond hair and blue eyes, and tons of other lies that black folks, and black women, especially, fall for and go crazy over in the church. Black women you are the original mothers of civiization, and you need to stop being such fools for what the church and US BLACK MEN are putting down. And demand FAR more from both. — Rev. George Brooks
Well, at least, for the most part, posters stuck to the topic. s*x needs come right after food and water. According to the Bible, God said “Go forth and multiply.” without specifying how to do it.
excellent. I’ve reposted this as our sunday sermon. very timely and appropriate conversation.
Knowledge is power. Do not blindly believe what people tell you. Research on your own. Being single doesn’t equal loneliness. I was married and very lonely. Being single has taughte me to love myself and to know myself. It has given me the opportunity to have a larger share in someone else’s life. Marriage is sacred and should not be taken lightly. Happy for those who have found it – and for those still looking have fun with your life – and let love find its way.
generalizations don’t serve anyone. they are never true or even approximately descriptive of truth. they do serve to stimulate debate. that might be the best of what the self-esteemed doctor has done here. the avalanche of refutation speaks volumes more than I can say and that is a good thing.
keep up the agiataion, doctor. you continue to keep some great debates in the public consciousness.
Nice read Dr. Boyce. Very Nice. Keep it moving Dog.
i haven’t read the book, but i have an aunt who grew up in the church in Memphis. and she was a lovely woman. she patroned in a church for several years and i never understood why she didn’t get married! but she would always praise her pastor as if she worshipped him. ‘pastor says this’ or ‘pastor says that’. and i begin to see that she had so unconsciously pledged allegiance to this man, that it could very well have been keeping her from marriage to another man. i don’t know what he was teaching in that church, because I attended only once and never looked back. lol. i didn’t like it for some reason. but it can be true that when many of the women in some churches develop blind allegiance to the man behind the pulpit.
in hindsight, i think that my aunt probably took to him because she mightve looked to him as a father figure. her own father was a horrible, irrational man that showed no love, beat them, and pitted sibling against sibling, light skinned child against darkskinned child. he beat on my grandma. when i was 13yrs old i went down to mississippi to visit my grandparents and he actually took my chin in his hand, told me to look up at him, and said ‘Yep, ugly just like your mother’. with no smile on his face.that is an awful thing to say to a self-conscious child. to this day, even though I have blossomed into a swan, I resent that. also, when grandma gave him a plate he knocked the whole thing on the floor and made her pick it up.that was my first time meeting ‘grandpa’ since I was a baby when momma moved from Missippi to Milwaukee, WI. I despised how he had treated my mother and his other children, and how they to this day still suffered psychologically for it. I didn’t attend his funeral. there are some things that even death doesn’t bury. maybe my aunt sought in this pastor a fatherfigure. he probably loved and nurtured her like her own daddy never did!
there are many churches that have Singles Ministries for their single members. so then her book might be somewhat skewed. because the Singles Ministries is alive and popping! You can go, and meet people with your morals and beliefs, and actually date (minus the pre-marital relations of course, but it is still a beautiful thing)
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I get so tired of everyone blaming the black women for everything that happens in life especially when it comes to why we are lonely. Some of it may vbe caused by church leaders who preaches to keep us celebrate but a lot is caused by our black men who has left and stepped outside of their race to find love with other races and has left soo many black women lonely and deprived and vulnerable. Its really sad that the amount of black men no longer wants the women of their own black race any more. We have beautiful black sisters, all of us are not mean and hateful. As a matter of fact the average black wome has endured much at the hands of black men. Black men has stuck by the side of black men for centuries and now they are all mostly left alone and without love. Its really sad that the black men has rejected and left soo many black women to fend for themselves now.
I have to fully agree with the person who just spoke about so many of our black men chasing after white women, and not wanting black women. I am black, but a full believer in black women being the mothers of civilization, and the most beautiful women of all races. In fact, the women of the black race are EVERY WOMAN, as so said in Chaka Khan’s song. We have them all in our own black race, so what the h**l does any black man need with a pure ghostly-looking woman, instead of a woman that does not look like his own mother, or others in his own family? Do black men with black mothers, hate their own mothers? And grandmothers, and aunts, sisters, etc, etc ? Wow! What mentally sick souls.— Rev. George Brooks
Rev. George Brooks, don’t you realize these false Reverend, Pastor, Bishop this and that- mostly black men like you is the main problem with black church. #1 you are money hungry schemers living in expensive mansions and drive fancy cars while many of your church members suffer. #2 you are womanizers that take advantage of single black women and young girls. Stop being a hypocrite.
Big will, you don’t know that man to be stereotyping him like that! you don’t know him from Adam. don’t paint all pastors with the same brush. that was uncalled for and you know it. how do you know he’s a hypocrite? how do you know that he’s preying on black women in the church? do you go to his church?
With some of the things in Deborrah Cooper’s book I disagree with. The Word of God is about relationship with Jesus Christ, not just about going to church. She didn’t stress the fact that just because you go to church, that doesn’t make you a Christian. There are many people that go to church, but not all are Christians. Why is it, that when people like Ms.Cooper speaks concerning going to church, they never expose the real adversary the devil. It’s because they have no knowledge of his works. She stated that one doesn’t need to go to church to find God which is true, but one does need to go to church to learn how to walk in kingdom principles that govern heaven and earth, and this comes from sitting up under an anointed Man of God, this is how God has set his church up in the earth. She also stated that just because one can read the bible from cover to cover, that dosen’t make them know everything, she is so right, why? because God’s Word is revelation spoken, if we don’t pray for understanding in our human spirit, that understanding won’t be given to our human minds to walk out what the Holy Spirit has revealed to our spirits.
she have a good point you don’t know what you will find these day…it’s hard trying to fine a good man…
Even harder finding a good black women these days.
I like that comment about our great-grands being indoctrinated into Christianity when brought here as slaves. The Bible and the promise of deliverance from our troubles is what kept a race of people perservering. Now what religion the different tribes from Africa had, I do not know but I do know that they believed in a “Supreme Being”. Yes after slavery and emancipation the residual effects of Jim Crow for 90 years, especially in the south created black folk that were still “yessas” and those that were quote “militant”. Malcolm was one way at first and then toned down, and Martin took the peaceful and passive aproach to a brutal and savage white race of people. The so-called “baby boomers lived through this shake-up of lady Justice,and white America continues to do “any means necessary” to keep black men against each other, kill each other, imprison as many and keep out of employment except with drugs, guns and violence. Let the Church say Amen.
This is an old conversation. If you’re not about solutions, stop talking about it, in my opinion.
The worst thing you can do to youself is to say you’re black before you claim to be rational. You will be forever miserable if you are looking for love to a person because of the skin color rather than being equally yoked!
Thank you for encouraging me to use my sense of goodness
- it can become habit forming as to waddle in the muck and filth of negative vile onslaughts of mean spirited reactionaries—- Peace be unto to you DJ
Boycott Christmas 2012
nah is their f**k up attitudes that keep them single i mean lets be real lating women dont have this problem white women dont asian dont and the list goes on it seems like black women are the onlys always complaining they cant get a good man
This is a planet wide phenomenon. The women outnumber the men on the plane. Seeking a mate has become big business. In the old days the older women in the church played match maker. The fathers of both individuals would get together and compare notes on upbringing and character. If the fathers did not approve the deal was off. We need more rams in the flock. Fatherhood is the key for the daughter to succeed. The old women are to teach the young women how to love their husbands. The fathers are to screen applicants with extreme prejudice. The honor of the family is at stake and the happiness of the women.Jack legged persons, preachers and punks will not touch your daughters if they know that they will die.
I have two grandmothers that are still living. As a young girl, I do not remember seeing any of my grandmothers dating any men ever since they accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior They are church go-ers. They are more black women going to church than black men. When I used to attend to African-American churches, I felt like I was never welcome. I was treated like trash. I could not get involved in church activities. I was labeled as an outcast. The African-American churches are the biggest hypocrits. That may be a reason why, “what’s wrong with black people today” Black church go-ers needs to stop pointing fingers at everyone and start pointing fingers to themselves and say, “I need to shut-up, think, and what I did wrong?” Forgives is the key to move on.
I do believe in intergrating. I belong to a church that is open to all races/ethnicity and cultural.
Actually church is not the issue. Many black women have deep seated psychological issues with black men…period. Church is just one of the many games that black women use to confuse, control, an hurt black men.
The other games include I am independent, I am into married men, I am into gay men, I am into white men- usually my boss, I am superior because I have an education or make more money, or I need a “thug”.
White women, latino women, an asian women don’t turn down a potential dating/marriage partner simply because he does not go to church and roll around on the floor.
The bottom line is that nobody wants to acknowledge that the masses of black women need psychologicl help.
Anonymous Part II
And slavery has nothing to do with what is happening to black people and the black woman. We wew doing fine until about twenty years ago. That’s when the thug, pro-black female, anti-black male, santified culture took over.
We were at our absolute best during the 1960′s civil right movement. We prospered financially during the 1970′s and 1980′s. At the turn of the 20th century we began to build the black wall street communities all accros america.
Long story short- slavery did not affect us then…why now?
The author is WRONG…. she is speakings about a house of devils – not OF GOD.
FACT: any place that represents a place (HOUSE OF GOD) to PRAISE and / or WORSHIP GOD, TO BE DELIVERED from satan and his will, TO BE HEALED – is to be just for THOSE SPECIFIC PURPOSES. Deliverance, Healing, Miracles, Signs and Wonders in THE NAME OF JESUS are TELL TELL SIGNS it is a TRUE HOUSE OF GOD.
FACT: any place where the women pray and the males prey – is not A HOUSE OF GOD but a house of devils.
FACT: The DUTY AND OBLIGATION of a REAL / TRUE MAN OF GOD is to DEFEND, HELP, PROTECT and SERVE ALL CHILDREN AND WOMEN – no matter what.
FACT: anyone who looks the other way – when males are preying on CHILDREN or WOMEN – is just as guilty and acting as satan would have them to act.
First let me say that the “church” is the people. That’s the biblical definition. It’s not a place. So when you say “you are not going to church” then you are truly lying to yourself. You are around the people daily. Now, all people are not a part of the church. If that defines you then don’t comment on something that you are not a part of. Secondly, all false profets are not in the body of Christ. Look up the definition of proficies, or what it means to proficy and you will see that many of our modern entertainers and hip hop artists fall into this category. So be careful what you say, what conversations you join into, and who/ what you listen to. The church HAS NO WALLS BLACK PEOPLE. WAKE UP!!!! Please. We are only failing ourselves. By the way I’m very young. Not an old man. Just see through the bullcrap sometimes. Have a good one.
Far too many women believe in “the church” instead of God. I know a lot of my Spiritual sisiters who are robots to the pastor. When you don’t read your Bible and allow yourself to be lead than you are not doing or adhering to the will of God. That’s how many women get into trouble. They quote their Pastor instead of Scripture.
PEOPLE: Put commmitment back into relationship and think less on competing with one another.
Commitment without compatibility and government is chaos. Two cannot walk together unless they are in agreement. One must lead. You saw what happened when Eve got out in front of Adam. Adam was educated by God and Eve was impressionable and was to be educated by Adam and God. They paid a price for accepting wrong information. The lie brought them in subjection to The Devil better known as The Destroyer. It separated them from The Creator of the universe who was reproducing Himself through them. He , Adam, handed his dominion to The Snake better known as Satan [Adversary of The Creator of the universe] and The Destroyer.
The first thing that was destroyed was the family which was headed by The Creator, The Word, then Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve were cut off from their immortal,righteous,family to go it alone implementing the destroyers lies. Ever since their children have been enslaved except for those who listened to The Creator and taught His ways.To do right in this world is to die at the hands of The Destroyers children. Although they were not created by The Destroyer they are influenced by his mind [spirit] and are saturated by his ,The Destroyers, nature. Look around you. This is not God’s world. It is decaying and falling apart. Destroyers do not know how to do anything but destroy.
As Christians women we have to learn to discern the voice of GOD for ourselves and stop believing what a man tells you for the sake of believing in something and showing solidarity. if I could count the number of Pastor, Minister, Reverends, etc who uttered these far too familiar words to me…”God/The Lord told me you would be my wife…”
It took entertaining that foolishness on a small scale twice for me to
learn to discern. Now when a man comes with that dumbness i say “The devil is lie, get thee behind me satan, I rebuke you and your ways in the name of Jesus the only Living Christ!!!”
Stop being so needy ladies and this book will become a lie.
Real talk…I’m happy being a mother, a daughter, a friend, a prayer warrior, etc. Alone does not mutually elude to loneliness…
Most women who go to church don’t read Bible for themselves.If the Preacher said sky is falling they believe it!! Most women go to church to find a husband.Most are not “BORN AGAIN”. Only one thing the Bible direct you to do Witness and get unsaved saved. Most people donot want to go to church because they see how church folks live before Sunday
They live just like the world.
To be born Again is to be composed of spirit just like God is. I do not see any immortal sons of God walking around here on earth. The pure in heart shall see God. God has said that flesh and blood will not grow in His sight. When we see Christ as He is then we will be composed of spirit just like He is. Those who endure to the end shall be saved. That statement is an assurance of immortality which cannot be given by anyone but Christ who said…”All power in Heaven and in Earth is given into My Hands.” That includes the power to raise up holy, righteous sons to the Most High God. We will not see God The Father until this process is completed. Then the Family will be complete. God is Family.
That’s why you have to know the Word for yourself. No man or woman should rely solely on their pastor. If one becomes a victim, it’s because the personal relationsjip with God is not developed. Also, how many churches did she visit for an extended period of time. Where were the churches. Is she a believer? All of the answers to my questions will have a significant impact on how one receives what she says.
@Patrice. I respect you opinion but disagree with the word “most”
Wow…It is interesting, how when an institution, such as the Black church,just as with the Catholic church, is scrutinized, for questional behavior by some of its leadership, there is this immediate, “circling of the wagons”, in defense of the “church”…Ms Cooper is right on point…It should be emphasized the she is not attacking the institution, the church…actually, she isn’t attacking anything or anyone…what she is doing is bringing attention to behavioral concepts that are plaguing the Black church, culturally conditioning many Black females and emasculating Black males…like many of you, I “grew up in the church”…my grandfather was the pastor of our church and although it and most of the neighborhood churches were “storefronts”, with small memberships…the membership makeup was predominately women…therefore, even at a young age, I noticed the slant in teaching and preaching, toward maintaining the allegiance of the females and their loyalty to the church/pastor…I left home and joined the Navy, upon graduation from high school and the more I traveled, met people and observed from beyond the church boundaries, the more I came to the realization that there were some problem areas, based on cultural conditioning…of course, there are those who will deny that such behavior is happening and/or make excuses for any and everything that these pastors do to exploit their memberships…but, it doesn’t erase the fact that it is problem…I have watched dedicated church women, who have met men “in the church”, including the pastor; and have been used and abused by them repeatedly…because they have been conditioned to believe that the only place that they can find a decent man is in the church…as a single, Black male, although it has become common to hear in group conversation, a Black, single female say, “I’m going wait for God to send me a husband” and/or “I ain’t marryin’ no man that won’t go to church”, it causes me to cringe and shake my head, in disbelief, that this woman would disqualify possibly 90% of her suitor pool…
The Church and The “GOODNESS” i felt there as a CHILD—-no longer holds true for me today——but the “GOODNESS” was so strong and embedded in my soul—it follows me wherever i go.—Church or no church!———”THE FLESH IS WEAK”—–I don’t think we can blame the church for anything—-Some people wanna be LEAD—to feel apart of something———-but whatever the reason–everybody changes in there own time ————-THE LIGHT ALWAYS COMES ON (sooner or later,hopefully sooner)——SO BE IT!.
Interesting and sad. But I wonder..does this notion only apply to those black churches that are led by men or does it apply equally to those congregations that are led by women? Yes, there are corrupt male ministers out there who do nothing but prey on the females in their congregations. And they make it so much harder for those that are in the pulpits really preaching the Word and attempting to make a difference in the lives of the people that they pastor. But if someone really understands the concept of salvation and what it really means to be a follower of Christ, then no person – doesn’t matter how powerful and pervasive they may seem, can have a hold on anyone to the point where they’ve become mindless minions, doing everything they’re told. And when it gets to that point, we’re not referencing churches, but cults.
Great article and interview Dr Boyce. I think I will check out that book..
Sister Karroll Blye, I understand your feeling and I have no intentions of trying to change your mind or your Faith about the Churches… What I am saying is that today ‘most of the Churches’ here in America (religions) were given to us by the Slave owners at that time, that why we have the Names that we have, because the Slave owners name became our name and with that we were given their religious beliefs and told that we would receive our reward when we died. Brother Latham was to upset to see the truth in the statement because I talked about the pie in the sky, but you look around and 99 out of 100 Churches still have the blue eyed Jesus in their churches and still believe today that we are their servants and bow down to them… That’s why there is so much Racism around the World, because everyone on this Earth knows who you are, but we don’t know who we are ( Kings and Queens) but everything was taken away from you and for 500 years we have been enslaved and still have the mind-set of a people enslaved… Most of us will be shocked when thatnday of judgement comes, because GOD is going to ask that one question… How much did you love your neighbor… And GOD don’t believe in Racism!!!
This topic was interesting. I was raised in church. As a young girl I was told you can find a good man in church or if you don’t go to church you will go to h**l. As I got older and started visiting different types of churches (Baptist, Presbyterian,Jehovah Witness,Apostolic,Pentecostal and Christian). Most are the same regarding people who go to those types of churches.
People are people. I have never been a follower of people, but of God. I haven’t heard too many comments on prayer. I am 42yrs old and I don’t go to church as much. I go to get the word, then I do my own research. I found out that what I was told as a young girl about finding a good man in church or if you don’t go to church, you will go to h**l. In doing my own research I found out that was not true. Church is not in the foundation, it is in your heart. I have always been a spiritual person and have always prayed. Prayer has always been the answer for me. If you believe in God, pray and put Him first in your life, you will see a change. I am a true believer in prayer, because GOD has truly changed my heart and my soul to become a better person for myself and others. Forgiveness is the answer too. If you can really forgive a person who has done you wrong, pray from your heart about it to GOD and see how he will change your heart. I wish I could give you detail (too long). But, I know by the grace of God and prayer, my heart has changed my behavior towards people(men). Black churches does not keep women single, lonely and vulnerable. Women, only you keep yourselves that way. Church doesn’t have anything to do with it.
NO. The church does NOT keep US single. Life/educaton has. I do not mean BOOK- Education, I mean LIFE education. Majority of women that STAY in the church, I mean those that go every time the door is open, they are LOOKING FOR A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSBAND. Those of us women, who STUDY and often read our bibles, no that we do not want er’man out there and not every man is husband material (nor is er’woman). I did not read the article, don’t have to, I get tired of seeing it, my answer is the same each time I see the article. Another thing, the author did not ask ME.
No, The reason black women are single in the church is because they allow their bi-ological brothers, uncles, fathers, cousins, ect. avoid church. Therefore there are no men in the church to choose them. A woman can get a man to go to work and buy her a house, a car, pay her tuition, and so much more. But when it comes to coming to church they will not ask them to come. So, then ther is a vacancy in the womens life.
Thanks for some other informative blog. Where else may just I am getting that kind of info written in such an ideal approach? I’ve a undertaking that I’m just now running on, and I’ve been on the glance out for such information.
The article is in effect nothing more than black on black crime once again. Focusing on only one side of an issue. Women and or men can and do use the Church for inappropriate reasons. If your in tensions are Holy then there should be no victims on either side. Women do the same things for the same reasons which are unholy point blank. If you’re not attempting to use
Church as some sort of grocery store then you can’t be caught short at the check out and it’s as simple as that. Stay with that rule and no one will have h**l to pay on either side of the fence no matter what race you are. Church is a house of worship aka prayer, praise and a place where these sorts incidents aren’t to be tolerated.
Why can’t you spell out the word “ses”?. I mean, are you Americans THAT hung up? You try to deliver waht i would LIKE to interpret as an enlightened piece, but you cannot spell out the word “s*x”? Really? Fail…
Discontinued reading