Dr. Christina Edmondson: Take the Time to Discipline Your Kids Properly
Dr. Christina Edmondson writes about the importance of thinking through the way we discipline our children. Many of us grow up with old school values, being taught that children should be controlled rather than loved.
Dr. Edmondson seeks to persuade all of us to think about the way our kids are being raised, to learn the value of patience and understanding over simply “beating sense into them” and creating an in-house dictatorship.
The conversation on parenting is relevant in light of the recent arrest of Pastor Creflo Dollar for allegedly punching and choking his daughter. Pastor Dollar has denied the charge, but even if he is guilty, his entire congregation thinks that the daughter is either lying or that she deserved what she got.
First things first, whenever you talk about childrearing tactics and philosophies you should be prepared for a great deal of push back. Why? Well, talking about how people raise their kids is like indirectly talking about how they too were raised. Simply put, you are now talking about their momma and as the line goes, “them fighting words.” So, before it goes there, let’s just take a minute to agree that the Christian parent wants what God wants for their child and we need His Word and Spirit, and the support of the local Church to get there.
Most folks’ parenting styles are shaped by a desire to either live up to a parent or avoid turning into a parent. Just like sin, our issues too will find us out and parenting can be a 3-D movie showcasing our unresolved past hurt. The good thing for Christian parents is that the Bible is not silent about the clear, God-given mandate parents have to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Scripture also emphasizes the importance of disciplining our children and states without reservation that to not discipline them is to demonstrate that we do not love them. However, where the controversy arises is over the term “discipline.”
13 Responses to Dr. Christina Edmondson: Take the Time to Discipline Your Kids Properly
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I love this article….you think the way I do!!!! Hitting a child does nothing but create hostility within a child and only creates anger in their minds. Hitting also teaches that child that violence is okay.
FIRST AND FOREMOST: TO SPARE THE ROD IS TO SPOIL THE CHILD! WITHOUT DISCIPLINE EARLY IN A CHILD’S LIFE THERE IS DISRESPECT AND DISCORD LATER IN THE LIVES OF BOTH THE DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILD AND THE TROUBLED PARENT WHO CHOSE TO NOT DISCIPLINE THAT CHILD EARLY ON. ALL OF THESE PROPONENTS OF TIME-OUTS AND THE LIKE WHO SAY THAT SPANKING OR WHOOPING A CHILD IS BARBARIC NEED TO ONLY LOOK AT ALL THE DISREPECTFUL AND DISOBEDIENT KIDS OF TODAY. OUR GRANDPARENTS KNEW THE VALUE OF DISCIPLINE WELL. WE HAVE LOST THAT VALUE. A CHILD’S FIRST FIGURE OF AUTHORITY IS THEIR PARENT. AND IT’S THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THAT PARENT TO ESTABLISH WHO IS THE CHILD AND WHO IS THE PARENT. IF THAT MEANS WHOOPING THAT CHILD TO GET THAT POINT ACROSS, WELL SO BE IT. ANY PERSON WHO SEES THAT AS CHILD ABUSE NEEDS TO HAVE THEIR HEADS EXAMINED. A CHILD WHO IS NOT TAUGHT TO RESPECT AUTHORITY EARLY ON SURELY WILL NOT RESPECT IT LATER. IN TODAY’S SOCIETY SOME PARENTS ARE AFRAID OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN. WHAT THE HEY-ELL!!! WHOOP DAT a*s!!! PERIOD!!! OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES LATER. LAY DOWN THE LAW EARLY. YOU WOULDN’T SEE PRISONERS RUNNING THE PRISON WOULD YOU?…DON’T LET YOUR CHILD RUN YOUR HOUSE. SIMPLE AS THAT. THE SAME PEOPLE WHO WOULD CALL THAT CHILD ABUSE ARE THE SAME ONES WHO ADVOCATE PUNISHING THE PARENT WHEN THAT CHILD COMMITS A SERIOUS CRIME. YOU CANT TAKE THE AUTHORITY AWAY FROM THE PARENT THEN BLAME THE PARENT WHEN THE CHILD HAS NO RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY WHEN IT GROWS UP AND COMMITS A HEINOUS CRIME. THAT IS NOT THE PARENTS FAULT. IT’S THE MORON’S FAULT WHO WOULD CALL SPANKING CHILD ABUSE. YOU CAN’T NOT WHOOP A CHILD & EXPECT THEM TO MIRACULOUSLY BE MODEL CITIZENS WHEN GROWN-AINT GON HAPPEN-THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SPANKING & BEATING SPANKING IS BORN OUT OF LOVE. BEATING IS NOT.
The “rod” is too often what’s mis-interpreted. The rod is not a “beating object, but something that doesn’t bend or break. Something firm and strong. You, the parent have to be the “rod”. You have to be sturdy, unbend able, firm and urn breakable. When you say something, mean it. Show them they can bend you or break you.
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“However, where the controversy arises is over the term “discipline.”
The word discipline comes from the word disciple and Jesus never “beat” his disciples. He taught them principles based on love and “self denial” which is disciple.
Timm Dawg’s post is evidence that much of the origin of corporal punishment comes from slavery and the culture and religion of the slave master. WE should no longer be raising obedient slaves. Our children should be raised to be free , assertive, self assured adults. Most black parents beat all the assertiveness right out of their children. It may have been prudent to suppress assertiveness in children during slavery but today such parenting is pathological. It works to keep us enslaved. Their is no greater internal problem confronting black people.
I spank my children. I live in a state where spanking is not illegal. However my 13 year old daughter went to school and said she was abused, because of a spanking she recieved as a last ditch effort. They took my children away from me. I am now fighting through the courts to bring my children back home. The “rod” that is typically characterized and upheld in our communities should be utilized sparringly and approriately. However we should also view these women who are mothers that do not beat thier children but kill them as the real problem.